Mentoring

“These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to take care of their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.” (Titus 2:4-5 NLT)

I have a confession to make.

I’ve been a born-again Christian for 7.5 years and I feel that I am still feeding on the milk of the Word. Not the meat.

I desire more. Really I do. But often I find I have so little time left after caring and homeschooling a baby, toddler, and tween, running my household, working my part-time job, and tending to my husband’s needs (which too often get neglected). Many times I wish I had an older woman* to teach me things.

Things like making time for myself. Managing and homeschooling several children of different ages. Keeping up with the housework. Prioritizing duties in the home. Efficient ways of running my home. You know… those tips and tricks that you only learn after years of on-the-job training. Cleaning, cooking, parenting, and spiritual needs like…

Someone who will pray for me while I learn to deal with my anger issues. Or be there for me when I struggle through a spiritual drought. Someone who would teach me about living a life that gives glory to God and not shame.

There are many websites, magazines, and books out there for me to read and learn these things. I’m a voracious reader and have read countless books on many subjects. Many times, I learn on my own through trial and error (like the awful looking peanut butter chicken that looked so appetizing in the cookbook but looked oh-so-wrong on our dinner plate!) But what I desire… intensely crave… is an older woman to mentor me. To take me under her wings and teach me the things she has learned about life. Whether it be things of God or things of the home. Not just knowledge but her wisdom. Most importantly, someone who cares about what happens to me spiritually.

In Lord Foulgrin’s Letters by Randy Alcorn, the main character Jordon Fletcher has someone deeply interested in his life. This friend calls him frequently to inquire about how he is doing that week, they have coffee and discuss life, spiritual issues and such. When Jordan ends up in the hospital, his friend is there praying for him. His friend has a deep interest in his life. *That* is what I want. Someone to pray for me. Someone who cares.

I’ve had this desire for the past 4 years. Recently, the desire has turned into an intense craving. But I can not find any available older women. Most are too busy with their own lives, careers, and families to add yet another responsibility. They don’t seem available or even interested.

I tried looking within my own church. Our women’s ministry is virtually non-existence. I mentioned it to my pastor and was told to pray and ask someone that I thought might be interested. How in the world do I do that? Maybe it sounds easy but to an introverted person like me? But I began to keep my eyes open to someone who could potentially be my mentor. And I have found no one.

In times long gone, mothers and grandmothers were still living near or with their children. A young mother would get her instruction through the older women in their family. But with families so spread out, I’d venture to say most new moms don’t have that support system at all. And it is tough living without that support. I know. I’m not a spring chicken… been around the block a time or two and I still need that support. Even so, I am on new roads… different than the ones my own mom traveled. Homeschooling, green cleaning, cloth diapers, and Christian parenting are things my mom couldn’t mentor me on even if she did live close enough.

I have found many new mothers are not even prepared for motherhood let alone homemaking. I did not learn to cook, do laundry, or have any parenting skills until I was first married and with child. Man! How much did I screw up!

So I continue to wait for God to send someone in my life. And I anticipate a time when I can obey God’s command to mentor someone myself in the future. I am already praying for my unknown mentoree whoever she may be…

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* “Older woman” does not necessarily mean in age but in spiritual maturity and experience.