Quest for the Right Doctor
Maybe I have a misguided notion that the parents and family doctor should work as a team for the health of children.
But I can’t seem to find a doctor who is right for this family.
A doctor who won’t patronize me.
A doctor who won’t blow me off when I present information from my own research.
A doctor who will appreciate my instincts when something just isn’t “right” with my kids.
A doctor who won’t scoff when I want to make decisions for MY own children.
That’s not what I found today. We had an appointment with a new doctor (again). He came highly recommended by the mommas at Mothering.com discussion forums. Maybe I had high expectations that this would be the doctor for us. I was wrong. (Again.)
He criticized our decision to selective/delay vaccinations. He said he preferred vaccinations to be given as early as possible so the kids won’t be scared to come back to the doctor. What the…??? That is *not* a valid reason for giving vaccinations to infants.
He told me I put my son in danger by having a homebirth despite having negative Group B Strep testing. He said the danger came because my 2nd daughter was (supposedly) Group B Strep +, therefore, my son was at a much greater risk. I should have been in the hospital with antibiotics giving birth. I tried to explain that I had a highly competent midwife who kept a close eye on both my son and me throughout my pregnancy and postpartum. Didn’t matter.
Despite the fact that he proclaimed my kids healthy, I walked out of the doctor’s office with 2 unnecessary prescriptions.
Just how hard is it to find a natural parenting friendly doctor? 
By cbmrj777 on Jan 25, 2008 in Hot Topics, Parenting
I find it difficult to find the right doctor. One who will LISTEN to you. And as I get older I “fire” doctors more quickly. Wish I had the secret to tell you how to find one who is on the same wavelength as you are.
kacey | Jan 25, 2008 | Reply
Hey christine,
What websites are you working on?
I’m quite lucky with doctors, not that i have children to worry about too but I found a good one over here, shame you cant travel to england everytime you need a check up!
Hope you find one soon x
Helen | Jan 25, 2008 | Reply
Christine,
I’m so sorry you had such a rough time with your visit. That’s very unacceptable. During my daughter’s first year, we switched doctors from a pediatric to our family doc. The ped doc, who is female and at the time had no children, was telling me I was “spoiling” dd with all the holding. Didn’t matter that I was practicing attachment parenting and that dd was/is a high-need child, still at age 7. Of course, I don’t know everything, but I do know my child. Especially compared to a doc with no children.
Previous to having our son, I decided the docs don’t really need to know every aspect of what we do as parents. I’ll do what I choose and they can make suggestions. That’s all they are, are suggestions. They don’t have to like what I do, but it sure would be a better visit if they could even try to see where I’m coming from. I also had to realize that the docs aren’t there to make friends.
Blessings,
Jenny
P.S. Thank you for your post on the lime colored quilt. :) That’s how I found your site.
Jenny | Jan 25, 2008 | Reply
You’re right, Jenny. We don’t have to tell them everything we do as parents. Unfortunately, vaccinations and home birthing are very important in regards to health. Unavoidable topics especially when you are new and they ask you all of the general history questions. Ah-well. We will keep looking… surely there is a doctor right for our family!
Helen, I wished I lived in Florida again. My cousin is a doc. You can bet that next time I see him, I’ll be quizzing him on how *he* treats the mothers in his practice! LOL
The websites I am working on are my business website (Hogue Web Innovations - it always gets pushed to the back burner as I tackle client websites first) and my oldest daughter’s pet sitting business website. She also wants a photoblog of her own (but don’t tell her… I’m not setting one up until closer to her birthday when we are surprising her with her own camera.
)
cbmrj777 | Jan 26, 2008 | Reply
Hi Christine
I think if you are looking for a ped. to agree with your choices on vax and homebirthing, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Here’s a notion for you to consider: why even go to a ped at all? I don’t take my kids. They don’t get sick (well, rarely that they need to see one) ‘well baby’ visits were designed by peds to make MONEY and vaxxing is their bread and butter. I don’t understand why so many parents take their kids to peds and expect the dr. to agree on selective vax or not vaxxing at all. In our case, we say it’s medically contraindicated. You could use that if you wanted and if they ask you why, you could say family history of allergies. We had this dr. in Flint who actually TOLD us to stop vaxxing Cal, and we did, around 6 months. I could refer him to you if you like? He’s a D.O. a something of a holistic dr too you could say, he’s for the preventative approach, an environmental dr too.
All that said, if I were you I would just take your kids to a regular family dr. Most will see kids w/o a problem. I have had a few of my friends write off peds completely and take their kids to their family dr. if they get sick. You don’t need to have your kids ‘well baby’ checked…you can see if they are growing or not. Have you read “How to raise a healthy child in spite of your doctor?” I highly recommend it!! Good luck!!
Kelli | Jan 26, 2008 | Reply
Kelli, I don’t go to a ped. Never have either. We use family doctors because I like the “idea” of a doctor treating and knowing whole family.
It is funny because on the MI natural parenting forum, the subject came up yesterday about if a person goes to things like well baby checkups. You are right… if they are healthy, why bother? I think we’ll be skipping more and more but I do want to go maybe 1 time a year for baseline checks and such. I’ll have to check that book out! Thanks for the tip!
cbmrj777 | Jan 27, 2008 | Reply
I have taken my kids to the urgent care if they got sick (or needed stitches, etc LOL) because it’s close and our ins. covers it 100%. And, they have xrays, like when Cal fell off a high stool at McD’s when he was four and hit his head and later threw up that night. They have been good to us. But, I KWYM about finding a good fam. dr. I had one growing up and it was all so cozy. Things have changed alot. We use Cal’s allergist to keep track of wt/ht, as he is a pediatric allergist too.
Kelli | Jan 27, 2008 | Reply