Transitioning to Big Sister Status

When Joshua entered the world, 2 year old Rachel didn’t take it well. It didn’t help that she saw the birth… and no one was able to explain what was going on. (Joshua came so fast, we barely had time to make it to the bedroom or he would have born right there in the hallway! I know, I know… I *still* have to post my birth story… Of course, I still have to get my birth announcements out, write thank you cards… <sigh> I need a few more hours in the day!)

Anywho… When she saw Joshua being born, her eyes got wide and she ran out of the bedroom crying. After that, she wouldn’t go near the bedroom, the baby, or me. It was quite traumatic for her. It took 2 days before she’d go near me. Three before she was interested in the baby. Bryon dealt with many, many meltdowns and tantrums.

The poor girl had to deal with so much all at once, all of a sudden: transitioning to a new bed, sudden night weaning, a new night-time parent, and of course a new baby in the home. Not that we intended it to be that way, but it happened that way.

About a week later, I remember sitting on our futon bed with the baby in front of me, Rachel sitting on my right, and Mikayla on my left. I was trying to show that baby Joshua was not someone to be afraid of… I started pointing to different body parts to show that he was just like her.

Me: Rachel, look! Joshua has a nose and Rachel has a nose!

Rachel: <points to her own nose and smiles>

Me: And Joshua has a mouth just like Rachel’s.

Rachel: <puts her finger to her smiling lips>

Me: Ooohh, look! Joshua has 2 ears! Does Rachel have 2 ears?

Rachel: <nods yes, pointing to her ears>

Me: And where’s Joshua’s eyes? <Rachel points to them> Yep! Where’s Rachel’s eyes? <Rachel points to hers>

I had originally laid Joshua down so I could change his diaper.

Me: Look, Rachel! Joshie has on a diaper! Mommy’s got to change it.

I proceeded to take it off, and looked up to see Rachel’s eyes wide staring at a part that she obviously did not have! Oops!

It became a wonderful teachable moment and it was a turning point of sorts. Rachel started accepting Joshua after that. But it was still a love/hate relationship. She loved him anytime mommy wasn’t holding him, and hated him every time he was taking her “num-num” (nursing). Rachel did regress… more tantrums, back into diapers full time (after being potty-trained), and wanting to nurse all day long (when she was originally only nursing 2-3 times a day).

Joshua is now 10 1/2 weeks old and Rachel has come a long way. She is almost potty-trained (again), and is back down to only nursing 2-3 times a day (plus with the occassional extra nursing when she gets hurt or something like that). She’s 100% night weaned. She even puts herself to bed!

And her feelings toward Joshua? She adores him… she talks to him, plays with him, hugs and kisses him all the time. We’ve come a long way!