Off Meds!

Well, I’ve gone and done it! I took myself off medication. For those who may remember, I have been on Zoloft because of Post-Partum Depression (PPD). I detested the idea of being on any kind of medicine for long term. But my state of mental health forced me into the decision of taking a tiny blue pill every day just to prevent me from having horrible crying jags every day.

About 2 months ago, I started hitting and missing my doses. I’d forget one day, but take it the next. I’m horrible about remembering to take meds… Then 3 weeks ago, I made a conscious decision to completely go off. Yes… I know I should have consulted a doctor before doing so, but I just felt it was time. No sense in being on a drug for the sake of being on a drug.

Why this decision? Although I truly (now) believe that there are instances that medical intervention is necessary for chemical imbalances of the brain, I also know that my state of mind was also primarily due to the spiritual state of my soul. I had been so far from God for so long. I was alone, although truly I was never alone. God showed that time and time again. But when you feel depressed, overwhelmed, or anxious, it is hard not to feel alone.

We recently started going to church again. We were invited to go to church with the family of Mikayla’s friend, Arianna. The church is a bit different than even I was used to (my last church was pretty contemporary). But the friendliness, warmth, and Spirit of the people in the church made us want to come back again. I don’t know yet if this will be our new church home, but we have made a step forward in reclaiming the Christian life we are suppose to live.

A new church home and a few heart-to-heart talks with a wonderful Christian lady, Cheryl (Arianna’s mother), has really brought me hope and encouragement. God has shown through her grace and love to me. He has encouraged me to reclaim my home for His sake as well. We have been struggling with discipline/emotional issues with my oldest daughter. At a loss as to what to do, I have felt hopelessness. Using God’s Word, I have instituted a new rules/consequences/chores system in my home. It has only been in affect for 4 days, but it has enable this family to regain a bit of peace in an otherwise chaotic situation. I’m not saying all problems are solved, but little by little, using God’s Word to guide us, we will get through this. We want to establish a peaceful, happy home for our children to grow and thrive. We are slowly with God’s help, achieving this.

All of this has contributed to my decision. Have I made a bad decision? I don’t think so. I truly believe that I am coming out of a winter season in my life. And I am a better mother for it! Praise God!!